6 Reasons Why People Stay In an Unhappy Relationships
Sometimes staying in an unhappy situation is a deliberate sacrifice: For example, some people stay with an incompatible partner if children are involved. Sometimes, it’s clear that a relationship is unhappy, unsatisfying, and possibly even harmful for us. If there’s no hope for your relationship, it’s important to end it as soon as your situation allows.
All relationships require some amount of compromise, but giving up the possibility for happiness is not part of the deal. Many people find themselves staying simply for their partner’s benefit.
Here are the six major reasons why people refuse to leave:
- Guilt – You can’t stand causing your partner pain
- Loyalty – You feel a devotion to the history you share with your partner, even if it’s a bad one
- Misplaced priorities – You place your partner’s needs above your own
- Expectations – You feel pressure from family (yours or your partner’s) and friends to stay together
- Financial or logistical reasons – Financial and lifestyle concerns make it too difficult to leave
- Anxiety about “the moment” – You fear how your partner will react, especially if your partner has a pattern of emotional or physically abuse
Sometimes the thought of initiating the breakup can be so intimidating that the individual is paralyzed, sometimes for years. Much of the time, the best approach to leaving such a relationship involves a good deal of distance. The longer you wait, the more invested in the relationship you both become. By the time you have the courage to pursue a life you want, you may have kids, financial obligations, and a whole list of reasons why you can’t leave. The first step is accepting that you will have to take action to change your situation. The pain of a break up is temporary and will pass relatively quickly. It causes much more suffering to avoid the decision and stay in an unsatisfying relationship, wasting your time in a relationship you no longer want. Down the road, you may experience acute regret for the time you wasted.
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February 1st, 2010 at 5:55 pm
I concluded that I needed to understand desire and hope. And that led me to the land, the ocean, and to wild animals. By the mid-1990s it was clear that a profound cultural change—what I came to call reenchantment—was well underway, but in subtle, fragmented ways. I thought that if I could connect these fragments then I could help increase people’s desire to feel connected with land and creatures and increase hope that we can actually save the planet.