On Gossip Girl, big family meals mean an extra serving of drama. Did you tune in for the much-anticipated Thanksgiving episode? It brought up a very good question: How do you choose between two guys?Spoiler alert! A lot of secrets surfaced last night, so let’s dive right in and discuss one of the main issues: Serena’s relationship with Trip, a married man. Things escalate between these two, especially during a steamy make-out session in an elevator. Trip’s wife finds out about her husband’s affair, and she tries to win him back. But Trip decides to end his marriage and make things official with Serena.

Just as Serena and Trip are about to leave, Nate stops S. and once again expresses his romantic feelings for her. He asks her to stay, but she chooses to go with Trip. I wonder if she’ll regret this decision. Have you ever turned down one guy, so that you can be with another one?

One of my close friends recently struggled with this, and it was an excruciating process. It’s just so hard to decide who’s a better fit when you can see yourself with both men.

Mistake #1: ASKING TOO MANY QUESTIONS

Lots of men worry that when they start talking to a girl, she won’t say much back. This outcome, standing there, suffering an awkward, embarrassing silence, is so much of a concern that they ask the girl question after question to avoid it.

The reason they bombard her with questions is because they think that the best way of getting and keeping the girl talking is by giving her more and more opportunities to say something, no matter what the topic happens to be.
Unfortunately, doing this sends out a very negative message. It actually shows that you’re nervous and would prefer her to do most of the talking, which often turns the woman off completely.

Mistake #2: NEVER SHUTTING UP

This is the opposite scenario to the one above, but happens for the same reason. Some men, scared that the girl they’re talking to will up and leave any second, choose to talk endlessly in an effort to keep their attention. Again, this is immediately obvious as a sign of social inexperience and nervousness.

Mistake #3: BORING HER TO DEATH

It’s not easy talking to a girl who’s beautiful, sexy and usually practically unattainable. So when a guy gets chatting to a girl he really likes, who’s hot and confident, he doesn’t want to mess it up.  After all, it might not happen again for ages!
So, in an attempt to limit the chance of saying something that might ruin the interaction and thus his chances with her, he subconsciously restricts the topics of conversation he brings up.

He talks about work, the weather, sports, current affairs, perhaps bombards her with a few questions on those subjects…and generally doesn’t push the boat out much.

Okay, so they’re 3 of the worst mistakes a guy can make when talking to a girl he likes. So let’s flip the coin and look at what he SHOULD be doing.

A lot of men have the common misconception that they must have rock star-like looks and a great personality in order to attract girls. To a lot of women, except those who are very young, looks are not the most important to look for, stop brooding over them. Some personality traits however, will attract girls and it is good to know what they are.

Heard of the “Indian giver”? It means giving something and then suddenly taking it away. Do the same to girls. Give her attention and then be cold again. You can try this anywhere. Talk to a girl and engage in good chat, then walk away and talk to her friends. The girl feels a little confused and then will work to get your attention. This can work in a bar, a club, on the beach, in school and whatever places. The idea is to make yourself look good but not needy. Your mindset should be that you are not giving the girl all your attention.

The next thing is attitude. If you don’t have it, fake it. Pretend that you already have a lot of girls in your life. That attitude will show on your face, the way you talk, your posture and how you walk and act. Girls really hate people who look needy or desperate. You would then separate yourself from the “losers” by looking confident about yourself. Act it and soon they will believe it! Soon that will become a reality in your life.

A relationship “investment” should have the same principles as a financial investment: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”. In this case, don’t put all your hope, desires and fear on just on one woman. This is to stop you longing for an outcome and make you less anxious. This again makes you a confident guy and you would have put yourself in a special level in their hearts.

Developing these personality traits will not happen overnight, especially if you had problems with girls in the past. What you definitely need is resolve and real practice.

Laughter is the best medicine, or so they say. In my opinion, it is not only the best medicine but also the instant bridge between two people. This means that you can use laughter to connect with the girl of your dreams! It can be a very good ice breaker because we are all somewhat skeptical to strangers we meet and our defenses will be up, consciously or otherwise.

Jokes and funny stories can help you immensely because the girl will see you as a fun person and hence enjoy your company. She will be more relaxed towards you and be friendlier. Think about it, they want to have fun too! Only then can you get to know more about her and perhaps ask for a dinner together.

The best thing about this is that you do not need to have a funny bone in you or a wide repository of jokes to remember. You can just go there and make fun of yourself! If not, you just need to be observant to see funny things at the location. Be gregarious and laugh! Laughter is infectious and you can make her laugh too! You do not have to be a super comedian to attract girls but you must at least interesting enough for her to notice you!

One thing to caution is not to try too hard. It is very telling that someone is faking to be cheerful and funny when you see him straining for ways to make a girl laugh. You should be natural and be yourself. If there are no jokes for you to share, then talk about something else. Do not spend the whole evening trying to squeeze out a joke. Remember that laughter is just an ice breaker. At the end of the day, the girl wants to see your true personality, other than your funny side, before you two can go on further and girls are more impressed with someone who is genuine from the start instead of someone faking to be funny but end up a gloomy guy.

Men come into terrible dilemma when they meet a girl that they like. The love is in the heart, but the feat is there too for he does not know whether the girl likes him too. Nobody dares to make a move until he finds signs of interest, so as not to avoid premature rejection or being ridiculed by the girl.

There are different signs a girl can send to show that she likes you. One of them is through the eyes. If she can’t stop herself from looking at you, there are great chances that she is interested, and would expect you to make a move. This is a great sign, so if you experience the same, go for it!

The second sign happens to both men and women. Look for the willingness to help. If a girl is attracted to you, she will find ways to help you. This is because she sees you as Number One priority. In more “extreme” cases, she may call you to ask if you need help. This is the ultimate indication, and it means she wants your company badly.

Jealousy is another good way to tell. Perhaps, on purpose, go talk another girl you know when the girl you are interested is around. Notice if you can see that she is jealous; they can’t hide it! Sometimes, she may ask “Is that your girlfriend?” and that is a sign that they are watching for you. So you know she is jealous, and you want her to show more emotions, what should you do? Perhaps just talk to her casually. And if the jealousy does not go away for a long time, tease her by saying “Are you jealous?”

These few signs will help you determine if the girl you are eyeing likes you as well. If most of these signs are present, there is a good chance that she is. Even if, she is not, going ahead with the confession may bring surprises. Well, life is so random that we never know what would happen.

It is good to play safe when it comes to knowing a new girl. Too direct a approach may cost you a pre-mature rejection and hours of sorrow to follow. As with everything else, dating requires a correct time. Men should observer indicators of interest (IOI) before they attempt to go any further. There are obvious signals that can be identified in the girl to know that she is interested in you. And one should know what these signs are.

Different women have different ways of showing interest. Today, there are still too few ladies who are brave enough to tell someone that she likes him directly. Perhaps the notion that guys should take initiatives still reign. Other women give subtle signs indicating “I’m shy but please chase me”. If we do not know what these signs mean when we see them, she will feel rejected. If this goes on for too long, she may lose interest and you would have lost your window of opportunity. Here are some signals you can pick up and how to respond appropriately to them.

Smiling. Yes, it is very common for any one to smile but if she smile at you, it usually indicate interest. A woman smiles to attract your attention. This gesture is a good sign and the best thing to do is to return the gesture, indicating a acceptance of her friendliness.

Eye contact. If you catch her staring at you a few times, don’t be intimidated. This shows a good sign again of interest. She is trying to connect you non-verbally. When she does so, do look at her, and let the eyes talk for a while.

She dresses up nicely. Some girls may put up make up to look more beautiful. This is also a IOI as she is really trying to attract attention. She put on some new clothing, a new pretty hairstyle only to want your eyes on her.

She is happy around you. She laughs and giggles when you joke and look very pleased to be with you. If you tease her and she tease you back in good fun, you got another indicator on interest. If she is always lively and happy when with being you, it is a good sign that she enjoys your company, which is important in a relationship.

She wants to know more about you. She wants an insight to your personal life, your hobbies, your likes and dislikes and other stuff relevant to you. Don’t be surprised if she remembers some detail about you; be happy instead because that shows a genuine interest. She is nice to you and likes your company.

These are some IOIs that you should take note of. It is fine to wait a little longer before you dive in because attraction can be built through time and efforts. However, the existence of the signs in the woman you are with gives a indicator of good hope.

Getting a new girl to like you will not be a cakewalk. It requires a genuine heart, sincere efforts and some romantic actions. Some people fail and others succeed. Whether you have lost or won in getting a girl in previous efforts, the below can surely offer some help in getting a new relationship.

The first is to form a good, positive first impression. Know your body language and always observe good posture. Someone with high self-respect is often someone who dress immaculately, keeps a good hairstyle and may wear some manly scent. Start up a chat with her, but do not let it be just mere chat; find common ground. There are common interests to be found in everyone if you persist. Once you found one, ask her out with one of them as a reason.For example, “You liked X’s music, would you mind helping me find one of her best CDs?”

Then, flirt with her persistently. Whatever that you say to her, be sincere. Never lie. Untrue character will expose itself given enough time. Give compliments if you see something good you want to commend. She will be feel appreciated and will feel good connecting with you. Technology today allows for around-the-clock flirting, with the Short Messaging Service and MSN Messenger, but be careful not to overdo it as it will come across as insincere, or worse, desperate. The rule is to let her feel good without putting yourself down.

Next up is to clearly indicate interest in her. Do romantic things such as putting an arm around her neck when strolling together, touching her hand gently when watching a movie. Buy a gift for her when you see something she will fancy or remind yourself of her. This shows that you are always thinking of her. She will be elated when you do such stuff. Doing such things over a long time will give you experience in getting a girl to like you.

Such things may take time and patience. Even if the girl does not like you initially, over time she may be touched by your sincere efforts and may start liking you. If you are generally a good person, letting her know you well enough will keep up your points in her score.